I was pleased, glad, and scared

This is one of 24 positive reports from the book ‘And Then I Became Gay:’ Young Men’s Stories.
[Case 1](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-01/) | [Case 2](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-02/) | [Case 3](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-03/) | [Case 4](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-04/) | [Case 5](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-05/) | [Case 6](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-06/) | [Case 7](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-07/) | [Case 8](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-08/) | [Case 10](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-10/) | [Case 11](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-11/) | [Case 12](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-12/) | [Case 13](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-13/) | [Case 14](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-14/) | [Case 15](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-15/) | [Case 16](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-16/) | [Case 17](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-17/) | [Case 18](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-18/) | [Case 20](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-20/) | [Case 21](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-21/) | [Case 22](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-22/) | [Case 23](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-23/) | [Case 24](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-24/) | [Case 25](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-25/) | [Case 26](/en/reports/unknown/sw-case-26/)

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The cases 9 and 19 where a negative experience for the boy and are therefore not included in JUMIMA. They can be read in the article linked below or in the book.

Source: Rind, B. Gay and Bisexual Adolescent Boys’ Sexual Experiences With Men: An Empirical Examination of Psychological Correlates in a Nonclinical Sample. Arch Sex Behav 30, 345–368 (2001). https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1010210630788

Note. Quotes for cases 1, 3, 4, 8, 10, 11, 14, 18, 20, and 25 were taken from Savin-Williams’ (Savin-Williams, 1997) book—page numbers are provided. Other quotes and descriptions were obtained directly from Savin-Williams. Ages of subjects and older partners when the sexual relations began are provided after the case numbers. A few subjects had additional sexual contacts with other men (Case 1 at age 14, then 15; Case 4 at age 17; Case 9, three more at age 16; Case 21, two more at age 17). Details were not recorded for these episodes.

Case 4 (boy 13, man 32). Met a stranger at a shopping mall, who “asked me for a light. I said I had to go to the bathroom. He followed me into the bathroom. He came and I think I did. He initiated the fondling in the stall but it was honestly mutually wanted. I was curious but a little nervous that someone would walk in. He asked me to come back to his place but I was afraid something would happen to me, like kidnap me. I was pleased, glad, and scared. I wanted to do more. I wanted a man in my life who was accepting, there, and caring. I told no one and I didn’t want to. Society said ‘bad’ so I didn’t talk about it. I wanted it to repeat so I returned to the mall, but I never saw him again” (p. 77). “Scared” was in the context of the excitement of the sex—he wanted to do lots more except he did not know what to do or how to inititate it.