Taken from the collection Positive Memories, compiled by T. Rivas.
Source: Case mentioned by Bruce Rind, in the Appendix of his article Gay and Bisexual Adolescent Boys’ Sexual Experiences With Men: An Empirical Examination of Psychological Correlates in a Nonclinical Sample in Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 30, No.4, 2001.
This case was directly obtained by Rind from R.C. Savin-Williams.
Family friend. I initiated on a camping trip; we were in same tent at state park; oral sex to orgasm for both of us; several times during the night; incredibly erotic, tremendous release, very pleasurable. Not real close; didn’t enjoy kissing. Afterwards scary because I enjoyed it so much. Not wanting to be near him on the trip because afraid others would notice.
Once per month for the next 4 years that I initiated; never talked about it; sex was all it was. Wished I was straight so the attractions would go away, because the sexual gratification was so strong.
Comment: It is not entirely clear what the respondent had been afraid of, but it is probably related to taboos on being gay.